Mainstay’s Paul Lemieux talks about the role family members play when their loved one with developmental or intellectual disabilities moves into supportive housing.
Paul Lemieux is Mainstay’s Family Liaison. This series explores different topics related to finding the right supportive housing for your loved one with disabilities. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
What is the family’s role in a collaborative living situation, such as a Mainstay home?
I think the key word is ‘collaborative,’ which means it’s defined as people working together to make something positive happen. When you look at making something successful, you have adults who are moving into our homes, and they’re really looking for that first taste of independence. There still needs to be that attachment to home, like somebody moving to college or out of their house for the first time. The collaboration here is not just between the family and the loved one. There are always those outside people that are coming into our model, the support comes from the parents and comes from extended family members. There are outside professionals who come in and help along the way. And of course, the Mainstay staff, who is there. We are there to provide any emotional support and assistance with daily living. Our residents have independence. I also look at all of these resources we provide that help alleviate any anxiety that parents have when they send their loved ones off.
Tell us a little bit about what happens when a new resident moves and needs more time transitioning into their new Mainstay home.
We understand the significance of this change for the individual and their family. They’re moving from mom and dad’s and the comfort of that environment into their new living arrangement. We encourage more family visits, including extended family. Brothers and sisters are all welcome, as well as aunts and uncles. In some cases, we have what we call a phased-in occupancy where residents will stay at their Mainstay house, maybe three or four nights a week and then stay at their parents’ house the balance of the week. We will do that for as long as need be – ultimately until both mom and dad and the resident feel comfortable. We encourage those normal visits like going home for dinner, spending holidays with them and going on vacations. They are still part of that family. Mainstay encourages people to do that and that helps a great deal when they are when moving out of a place they’ve lived their whole life. We encourage parents to be involved in their loved ones daily lives.
Is it ok for families to take part in nightly meals and other activities at Mainstay homes?
We encourage it! We ask for advance notice so that we have the right amount of food for everyone. There are some parents who are really active in planning activities, not just for their loved one, but for other people in the house as well. We have families who take others out on field trips. Many parents come every week to take their loved one shopping because that’s not something Mainstay provides in our model. We have one person in one of our homes who provides activities on a monthly basis and it’s really important. We’re working towards creating some relationships with some outside services. The ultimate goal is finding the right combination of support so the resident can achieve the independence that everyone is seeking.
